How to Get 10,000 Subscribers Instantly
by Spooky Boo
I had just started out on my channel and I was obsessed with growing my subscriber count. I had followed all of the rules and did the tricks, but I was still just under 800 subscribers and I seemed to have stalled. My view count wasn't that high and I just couldn't grow. I thought my content was great, but I kept feeling like I had a curse on me.
I started getting anxious, worried that I would never make it so I began searching for "how to get 10,000 subs instantly." I was desperate. I wanted to grow faster like all my friends did. I tried the sub for sub scheme and all that did was get people who wanted just a high sub count and not any views. They never came to watch my videos and continuously spammed my comments until I filtered out their nonsense. It was quiet once again and I grew distraught. I now had 869 subscribes but still little views.
Then I watched a video that read "How to Get 10,000 Subscribers Instantly' in the title. I was intrigued. The guy was actually funny. He cracked some jokes about sub for sub and said that doing this was completely going in the wrong direction. Well, how was I to know? I kept watching until the very end of his video when the screen dimmed. He started chanting this song that sounded something fresh out of a satanic movie until his face, up close and personal, stared at me through the screen.
"You will get your 10,000 subscribers starting tonight. Your count will grow and you will be plentiful as long as you follow my instructions daily. You must come back to my channel and grab your assignments first thing in the morning or your fate will be worse than losing all of your subs, even your first 869 before you started watching my video."
I laughed and closed the window. Right. Like anything will happen. I refreshed the screen and suddenly 13 new subscribers were added. Confused, I tried to check the stats but they hadn't even updated yet. Then I started to wonder. How did he know my exact count of subscribers before the video started?
I shrugged it off as just a coincidence and went to bed. That night it was tough sleeping. I kept dreaming about the strange guy and how his voice was so dreamy. Whenever I would wake myself up, I'd fall back into a deep sleep and each time the dreams became nightmares. Gruesome images of people dying were haunting my dreams. The recurring nightmare of a heavy box falling on the same unknown person over and over again made it difficult to stay asleep, but it was like I was in a trance and I continued to fall.
The next morning I looked at my stats and I had gained another 100 subscribers overnight and my view count was really high. I laughed a shoved it off without even watching the video I was supposed to watch from the strange man. I mean really, how could a video even pay attention to what I was doing? There was no way he could keep track of what I did. I turned off the machine and went to work. That morning while walking through the warehouse the repulsive bitch Michelle was standing in the way of everyone and giving orders like usual. She was screaming at some guy working when my friend in the forklift looked in my direction and waved. Suddenly, the forklift hit her leg and she stumbled backward into the boxes of unshipped monitors. One by one the boxes fell on top of her body. She screamed as her leg bones were crushed under the weight. We ran over to her and started to lift the boxes which contained monitors off of her legs. Greg called 911 as I tried my best to pull the remaining monitors off of her arms.
Her screams of pain were filling the room as were the screams of terror from people in the company. Several came to help, but it was useless. We heard the sirens outside as suddenly the ground shook and the last box tumbled down on to her head making a huge splattering noise. The screaming stopped from underneath us only to be replaced by the screeches of horror from our co-workers. Her hand twitched as the blood trickled from underneath the box down to her foot.
I was sent up to speak to the boss and the cops to tell them what happened. I started with the story but then remembered the threat on my channel. When I told of the strange guy in the video they just said I was in some sort of delusional shock and to go home. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to be alone with that computer, but I had to know. As I walked inside my room, my computer was on. The video was waiting.
I looked at my subscriber count and I had lost 30. I didn't care. I didn't want to have anything to do with this insanity so I closed the laptop and rested on the couch. It was all just a stupid coincidence I continued to tell myself until my phone went off telling me there was a new video on my own channel. I watched it in horror. There it was, the whole scene with the box falling on Michelle's head and even that horrid noise it made when her brains were splattered beneath the boxes. My view count went up and comments started rolling in.
"Oh shit that was great!"
"WTF is that even real?"
"Dude, you really need to make more of these. That was SICK!"
"Asshole, you shouldn't even be here to show something sick like that!"
The comments kept on running and suddenly I gained about 2,000 more subscribers. But I was ashamed. Alarmed. What would happen next? I tried to remove the video, but I kept on getting an error when I tried. I even tried flagging it, but nothing happened. Fear, shock, terror--everything wrapped in a shiny black package raged inside my mind. I stomped the floor trying to figure out what to do then a new notification came in that someone I was subscribed to had a new video ready.
I reluctantly clicked on the notification window and the title of the new movie said "How to Lose 2,000 Subscribers"
"I don't care!" I screamed at the monitor, but still eager to see what this demon had in store.
The good looking man with jet black hair and a goatee started walking into view. The background was completely white and it contrasted with his very expensive black suit and tie. He shook his head at me then laughed in a vile, evil cackle that permeated my soul with fear. "You want your views and subscribers, but you don't wish to pay for them?"
"How are you speaking to me through a video? Is this a live stream?"
"No, my friend. This is the dead stream. Let me introduce myself. My name is Lou Zypher." His name LOU ZYPHER splashed across the screen.
He heard me. There was no way this was a live stream because the streamer cannot hear their viewers unless invited. I was never invited. Maybe it was a hack of some sort? I downloaded something stupid and a hacker messed up my machine. That must be it.
"No hacker here. I am simply a figment of your imagination."
What the hell? I hadn't said that out loud. It was all in my mind and he read my mind! I watched in both awe and horror as he put his face right into the camera.
"I will give you 1,000 more subscribers today if you perform this little task. Make a vlog of you taking a walk to work. Talk about anything, but I want you to drop a raw egg on the corner of 9th and Steele then leave the scene. Just drop it casually like it was an accident, but you must do it first thing in the morning when you walk to work."
"That's it? An egg?"
"That's it!" As a good faith offering I will give you the 1,000 subscribers now, but remember what can happen if you don't.
I watched my subscriber count go up to 1,000 and then planned accordingly, not wanting to experience the fate of another person. The next morning I walked out of the house with egg in hand and camera recording then while waiting for the light, I dropped the egg. No one seemed to notice, no one in San Francisco ever does. We all just kept on walking. I made it to work and people inside commented about how my channel was really growing. The video of Michelle dying had since disappeared and things were really climbing. In addition to the new 1,000 subscribers I gained another 500. It was really happening!
The next few days I continued to do stupid little tasks that Lou Zypher had asked me to do while vlogging. A wad of gum in the middle of the crosswalk, putting a bag of marbles on a different shelf in the grocery store, even placing a quarter in a broken gumball machine at the dollar store on the corner. I was on a roll. Before I knew it, I had my 10,000 subscribers and then some. Every time I made a new video with these silly little tasks, I would get even more subscribers and I didn't know why.
Up until now, I had ignored the comments. They were usually SPAM sub for sub comments from the stupid little sub for sub game I did a few months ago anyway. Now, however, real comments were coming in and they weren't what I expected.
"You sick fuck."
"How could you? That was my uncle asshole!"
"You're just a jerk. Why hasn't anyone caught you yet?"
I couldn't understand what was going on. All of the videos I put up were just normal vlog videos of me talking about my day and what was going on in my life. Every video had just horrible comments except for the occasional "Wow that was cool! How do you plan this stuff?"
I had to bite on that one. I didn't know what the hell this guy was talking about. I didn't plan anything.
"How do I plan what? I'm just vlogging." I commented back.
A few minutes later the unknown viewer responded. "Don't you know, dude? Don't you watch the news?" he placed a link to our local news station in the comments. I clicked and watched. There it was, plain as day. Since I rarely watch the news I had no idea what was going on, but there they were: videos of me from street cameras casually dropping items on the street then a few moments later someone slips in the egg yolk and falls into incoming traffic or the guy trying to peel gum off of his shoe while the mass transit bus sweeps him away from the crosswalk. The more I watched, the more gruesome they became. The last one shocked me as I watched. Tears filled my eyes. The kids. They were all chasing around the gumballs that were rolling out the door at the dollar tree until a street cleaner swept by and they were gone. It was all my fault. I started to weep.
Just then there was a knock at the door. It was the police. There was enough evidence to place me at all of these scenes, but not enough to convict me of anything. I now live in my own guilt. I only own a cheap, old computer. I no longer put up videos and I gave up my tech job. I stock shelves now. My 10,000 subscribers are gone and so is my channel. So is my dignity and conscience.